The Spiritual Life: A Column by Jacques Fleury: The Haitian Firefly
New Year resolution blues
Well folks, the holiday dramatics are over and a new year has landed upon us like a proud and hopeful eagle, as we begin to make promises to ourselves for the rest of the year.
However, I know that I have made promises to myself that I was unable to keep and I’m almost certain that 
you too will succumb to a similar fate. But I am not here to tell you that your New Year resolutions are doomed to failure, I just want you to be realistic about them.
Let’s start with the most ubiquitous New Year resolution of all: to loose weight. Most of you probably have this at the top of your list. I know I do.
Jacques Fleury
For those of us who are over weight, reaching this goal means more than words can say. I mean, who wouldn’t like to get rid of those love handles that we find not so “lovable” anymore because they are waging a war against our waist lines and yes our love lives as well.
Our fat is getting in the way of us feeling good about our bodies and ourselves as individuals. Our fat are eroding our self confidence and staining our auras, thus making it very hard to attract the right person in our lives when it comes to our romantic pursuits.
So what are we doing wrong when it comes to achieving this seemingly realistic goal to loose weight? The answer is that we are often not realistic about the way we go about reaching this goal.
We often have a goal without a plan as to how we are going to pragmatically achieve this goal. My suggestion is this: first decide how much weight you want to loose and how much allotted time you hope to reach it by. Then decide what you are willing to do during that time to make your goal accessible. For example, for me, I know that I have set a goal for myself to loose 10 pounds in one month. I have set a plan to work out at least three times a week, replace breakfast and lunch with a meal replacement drink and a sensible dinner no later then 7 p.m.
Typically, you should eat three hours before you have to go to bed. I’ve also decided to go for a walk after dinner to burn calories and tire myself so that I can get a good night’s sleep and have my metabolism high enough to melt calories off my blossoming derriere while I sleep. But exercise and diet is simply not enough.
Most of us who are over weight start out by hating our bodies but yet expect it to corporate with us when we try to loose weight. Well I have news for you. It doesn’t work that way. You body is keenly aware of your disgust and utter hatred for it. You won’t be able to trick it into thinking that you love it when you really don’t. Basically, you have no other choice but to make friends with your thunder thighs and love handles if you expect it to cooperate with your weight loss regimen. You must learn to love what you got to start with before you can expect it to work cohesively with you on any level. I know that this may sound silly but try walking around naked in your home, hopefully when no one else is there if that makes you more comfortable. By doing this, you are learning to be comfortable naked. I know it will be difficult at first because I’ve done it and it took me a long time before I began to get comfortable myself. I believe by walking around naked, you are communicating to your body that you are not ashamed of it, that you love it just as it is right now. Soon, you will be able to be naked around your romantic partner without having to hide under the covers during sexual intimacy.
The other “love ritual” I suggest that you do for your body is stand nude in front of a mirror and allow your eyes to explore every inch of your fat body. At first you will be tempted to look away and find fault in every crevice of your body, however, you must try to resist that urge and over time, you will become increasingly more comfortable with yourself. Fundamentally, my point is this: if you are unable to give yourself love and respect, how can you then expect someone else to give you something that you are either unwilling or unable to give to yourself? As Whitney Houston sang “learning to love your self is the greatest love of all.” So Stand in front of a mirror and proclaim to yourself “I am fabulous and lovable, fat and all!” Don’t fall prey to what the media and popular culture tell you what you should or should not look like. Try to overcome you most ferocious critic: yourself.
Basically, at the dawn of the New Year learn to love and respect your body, however displeased you maybe with it at the present moment and only then will your New Year resolution of loosing weight be at long last effective and hopefully permanent. Happy New Year to all of you and thank you for reading my column!
Jacques Fleury is a local writer and TV show host. You can contact him via email at: haitianfirefly@gmail.com!
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